dis is my latest weakness wic makes me juz go Mmmm....nak lagi!!!
it's so yummy... not so sweet n it melts in my mouth juz right.... i gave a few cups to my cuzzie n she's in love w it... bf got a few cups too n he's trying to refrain frm taking more bec he's supposed to share wif his family... hahaha...
im down to my last cup in da fridge already n i can feel myself feeling down *sobs*
thanks Kak Liza of sinfulcravingz... im already craving for more tiramisu... *drools*

my favorite tv show has ended wif such a shocking twist!!! i almost cried wen i saw my fav Dr. House who is da most brilliant, sarcastic and sadistic doctor succumbing to his mental illness - schiz!!! aww man... cant forget da look on his face wen he realized he had been hallucinating dat he had no choice but to self admit to a psych hosp... it totally moved me to tears... he cant be a doctor anymore!!!!!!argh....

FINALLY.. we can all haf a good sleep tonight...

never haf i felt so nervous n unsure of wat to do... gd thing i haf a sis who remembers EVERYTHING... hahaha....

his family made their first official visit to my humble abode wic was miraculously transformed within 3 hrs after he announced they wud be coming... everything in da hse was given an extra scrub n shine... even fredo!!!! it was a mad rush to fix everything - food, cutlery n people n im blessed to haf such wonderful parents who gave their best although i knew dey were super duper tired after a long day....

we cleaned, cooked n got out our nice clothes n waited... hahaha....i was so nervous dat i didnt notice i wore my tudung inside out til it was too late to amend!!!!

though tenseful @ first, i saw both sides slowly warming up to each other n dutifully ate all our food although i knew dey already ate.... my cat was shamelessly gg ard asking to be petted and as usual dey were surprised to see hw big my pets r...

it ended well... i cud literally see him n me heave a big *YEAH* after we concluded...

hahaha.... a toast to US!!!!!

we survived da first official meeting....

next challenge - ENGAGEMENT....

der have been numerous occasions in da past dat my family EXCEPT ME was a witness to strange incidents... perhaps i was too oblivious or exhausted to notice da strange happenings @ hme... anyways sumth did happen to me last night...

ard 2 am...

i was up surfing n watching tv online... everyone else was asleep in their rooms... my door was slightly ajar... i didnt bother closing it as my cat likes to go in n out of my room... it was raining heavily outside n i needed to go to da loo... so i left my pc n lights in my room on as i made my way thru da darkness to da kitchen... i switched on both da kitchen n bathroom lights n noticed one of da kitchen windows slightly ajar...

i remember closing da window tightly before i entered da bathroom....

a few mins later i heard the loud howling sound of da wind n der was a sudden push against my bathroom door... almost threatening to unlock it... my door is da folding type so i looked up n saw da door latch still firmly locked... i looked down n i saw da door slightly unfolded in da middle...forming a V...

i got a lil pissed off actually bec i didnt want anything weird to happen to me...

i pushed to make da door straight again but i cudnt... it was slightly ajar in da middle...  i wanted to ignore it n switched on da tap.... den da howling sound came again n pushed da door a 2nd time!!!!!!!!! da door almost gave way again n i pushed against it... da door cudnt be straight again....

i contemplated... shud i ignore it nn continue to be in da bathroom or quickly get back into my room??

slowly i took all my stuffs, unlock da door... n looked @ my kitchen windows...all three was LOCKED... all latched up...


den i recalled...

earlier dat night, while i was talking to bf, i thot i saw a glimpse of a black hand creeping up da wall next to my bedroom door... it happened so fast i thot i imagined it...

oh yeah...im super happy wif my exit... i left wif 3 boxes & 2 paperbags full of momentos, prezzies, books etc etc... ive got a lot of junk i cant bear throw away... i got a super big gdbye card frm my colleagues, lotsa huggies n handshakes plus a gift card wic im planning to buy sumth super ex...

for those dat matter to me... i feel sad to leave behind... almost cudnt hold back my tears... oh im gonna miss dem all... *tears*

for those who haf been bitching behind my back... well, heck ah... im happy to leave dem der...

for my residents... sad for dey haf been sweet n wishing me best of luck....

it's amazing dat i receive so many congrats frm ppl... my family, frenz, ex-colleagues n even new-found frenz....

juz got an overseas call wishing me congrats... haha... such sweeties my frenz r...

i even got a special lunch date with my exec director ydae... sweet... she wanted to show her appreciation for my contribution n efforts... oh dat touched my heart...

i leave da association wif good & bad memories... as it is my first job i grew up professionally n personally... i came to understand myself a lot better... some things i learnt da hard way... der were tears involved but da learning was good...

oh... im gonna take a one-month honeymoon....

hokay... i juz changed my password so hopefully i dun get anymore weird junk... dunoe hw my profile gets updated on sum website wen i din even sign up for it... even weirder is ppl been receiving msgs frm me wen im offline on msn.. super WEIRD... plus ive been receiving "hi, i'd like to chat wif u" etc etc frm my emails n facebook frm anonymous-es...


do real ppl do dat or juz sum spam thing dat wants to send virus online???


anyhoos...

i juz got back frm movie-watching n grocery-shopping... i bought lots of mushrooms, fruits etc... healthy diet konon.. haha...i so called 'test-drive' dis new pair of contact lens to see if i cud wear it da whole day n da verdict is... after one whole day of wearing, my eyes r still shiny n comfortable... ~no more tears~ yippeee.....kekeke.... nevertheless, i prefer my eyes to be nekkid n wear glasses... but i dun wanna wear glasses ALL THE TIME bec dey r almost making a permanent print at da sides of my nose n i hate dat!!!! vain pot yeah....

on impulse i went to catch da show to my surprise, da show was surprisingly heartfelt n sweet... very simple n humanistic way of showing dat true love does exist... da lead actor ryan reynolds who plays Will Hayes is very easy on da eyes... he is boyishly handsome yet not too cute nor too rugged... juz niiiice....

Reynolds plays an almost divorced guy wif a cute daughter who starts asking him how he n his wife first met etc... da story goes wif him having flashbacks wif 3 women who kept appearing in his life @ different times... he was supposed to marry his college sweetheart but she kinda had other plans... den he met dis other lady who was a young rising journalist n she wrote an article dat cause him to lose his job... da last girl stayed as friends wif him while he sorted his feelings for these other women...

well, i almost thot da ending wud be sad wen i saw him signing da divorce papers... but... well well, he did meet da girl he truly loved in da end...

perhaps it's a sign for me to keep on hoping for .....??

it's definitely a feel- good movie wif bits of humor here n der... meantime, go catch it if u haf da time... definitely a good show to catch for all girls out der...

im in a dilemma...

in a work situation wats da etiquette to say i quit??? my sup always tells me it's gd to have a good closure wen one is leaving da company. da way one enters da company shud be da same way one exits from it. but dats more applicable in a big organization... wat if in a smaller scale n more personalized??

i weigh da pros n cons of da situation n i realize dat der's not a gd fit between me, da work involved n da environment. my capabilities cant reach out to da maximum bec some of da work demands rnt my strengths. i realize it's no point if everytime i work so hard to prepare my work, my efforts r not recognized.

perhaps ive been giving da environment a lot of grace n expected da same to be given to me. however dats not da case. im giving it a serious thought to juz let go bec i realize der will not be much improvement or progress. nw im juz thinking... shud i reason practically or shud i use da feedback given n work even harder?? hmm. sumhow dat idea is liken to me pushing against da wall. useless.

oh well. looks like i juz hafta say i quit n heck wif da etiquette.

ive juz got home frm my exit interview wif Exec Director... syukur alhamdulillah everything turned out fine... we talked for almost 2 hours exchanging ideas & of coz feedback frm me abt my association... everything frm my salary, collegial relationships, resources etc etc... well im happy wif sum, neutral abt others (esp abt internal politics & my supervision frm management!!!) and of coz unhappy wif da rest...

we talked abt da best and worst thing dat happened to me in the association... aaah.. dun everybody haf 'fond' memories of these... anyways im glad ive resolved all da sticky icky issues b4 i leave... im so happy to be on good terms wif all *wink... ive learnt to understand ppl a lot better and accept each and everyone's idiosyncracies... plus i cant always please everyone... hahaha... der'll always be ppl who r abit weird n look @ things in black and white.. neva shades of grey... best thing is to leave dem alone...

i enjoy being wif positive-minded people...dey juz boost my energy level and im so happy to be wif dem... talking things out wif dem makes me feel my problems r sumwhat more manageable n life aint dat bleak after all ;) too bad der rnt many @ work... one told me im capable of controlling and solving my problems... waah... but how come im still having problems wif...

dats y i feel im lacking in understanding people... i shud go for sum communication courses to learn different communication styles for different people... like using feeling words wif emotional ppl or relate using a more direct, solution focused style wif ppl who r problem solvers...

this is the surprise that i WANT!!!! and finally... after a few wks of waiting patiently i got it!!!!

dis is wat i got in my gmail today...

'Dear Sarina,

       We will be offering you a ***** . The Human Resource Dept will be contact(ing) you soon regarding the package. I look forward to you joining my team soon.'

da word LOVE has been floating around multiply these days so i shall add on my 10 cents' worth...

idealistically LOVE is meant to last... realistically it never reali happens...

idealistically when you fall in LOVE wif dat special someone, you stay in love forever.... realistically it never reali happens...

if LOVE were to be computed using a percentage score i'd say it is made up of physical attraction (lust included), communication wic must include sharing of thoughts & needs, laughter, enjoyment of each other's company as well as respect of personal space... feel free to include your own percentages...

wats NOT love??? LOVE isnt a means to an end... to achieve personal selfish needs...to destroy another person's life...

it's hard being in a relationship. sometimes i imagine being on da other side of da bridge and think i may be happier on da other side. other times, i feel blessed im loved. it's hard to be a girlfren cum best fren cum confidante cum play mate cum resource provider as well as many other things. sometimes i wonder whether im giving so much and getting lil in return.i feel drained thinking of how to maintain my relationship.

5 years going on 6... da length of a relationship does not determine da quality @ all....

i had a gd day today... met up wif da HOT frm sgh for interview... reminds me so much of my current sup... i had a feeling he'll be a gd sup to work wif... anyways seems like i hafta turn da job down... sgh has a policy no headgears allowed... shucks... guess i hafta look @ NHG only... OTs wear coats like drs in those hosp... i hafta email him n gif my answer by next wk.. imagine dat... it aint da norm for da interviewee to say whether or not to work for da future employee...

im feeling rather tired nw... had a looong day...i worked half day... b4 my interview had to drop sum books @ nyp lib... after da interview i went for 2 tuitions back to back n nw im hme... managed to catch da last part of pesta3 while feasting on my tuitee's mom's lasagne... sweet of her to bake for me... i feel so touched... im glad da parents haf been opening up n giving me loads of support lately... i welcome all da open feedback bec it will help me guide my students better... da other tuitee's mom also said she's happy wif da improvements though der's still room for more...

waaah... i feel so happy wif da progress ive made... being a tutor isnt easy... it requires a lot of energy, concentration & commitment... n PATIENCE... im glad it's not a lonely task seeing da support im getting from all da parents...

i spend a lot of time reading other ppl's blog but neva reali 'invest' in mine. plus most of my entries r for my own eyes only. so i can imagine hw pathetic my blog looks like. hahaha. oh well.

these days i spend a lot of time thinking abt my future. im abt to resign frm my association. in a wk's time im tendering n gg for 3 interviews. so far ive received calls frm hospitals asking me to go down for interview. im feeling a lil nervous bec i cant imagine wat working life in hospital setting will be for me.

i noe im making a risky decision. i havent completed my bond actually.

so y m i leaving my sanctuary n gg to da world of unknown??my current job entails a lot of freedom for me. i make my own plans and decisions. my annual leave n medical benefits r not too bad. plus it's a perm position.

da thing is im HEARTBROKEN. no more passion. no more energy. too much LOW-CLASS politics. im @ a point whereby i juz wanna pay off my bond and taste FREEDOM!!!

oh... can i be a professional bummer for awhile...

well dat statement is worrying my loved ones.. so to make dem happy i applied for jobs nw but my heart isnt in it... i wish i can juz spend da day enjoying da free time wif no worries...or better still... migrate to a country where it's more humane n peaceful...

but looks like im gonna be more stressful as im switching to hospital setting... oh well... more pay more stress... well... who noes dey may offer me an overseas sponsorship n off i go!!!

GALS!!!! pls gimme a call or sms me wen u read my blog.... i lost my hp n all ur contacts *sob* *sob*....

i lost my most precious SE W910i during lunch @ Hougang Green... my hp of only 1 mth old... so slim & sexy... i lurve da functions; so easy to use & da graphics r great... music & pix r great too... da lightest hp ive ever used too... *gosh* my heart broke wen i found out 10 mins later... i reali enjoyed using da hp... messaging was user-friendly... *argh* no ring tone wen my colleague tried calling... gd thing i had da hp lock wic means any1 who found it n wanted to change da sim card n switch on da hp will not be able to on da hp... but den, alternatively u juz sell it... dat hp being new n all wif NO scratches @ all is definitely worth loads of $$$... my poor baby....

so after work i went to buy a hp n nw im a poor gal :( my dad was upset wen he found out i lost da hp... he wanted me to make a police report so off we went to da CCK NPP... haiz... so upon reaching hme, i packed all my SE stuffs back into da box n carefully place it away...

wen i used da hp, i realize i totally lost touch wif hw to use a nokia fon!!! da messaging seems all wrong n it felt so heavy n bulky in my hands... but da images n music is fantastic plus it comes preloaded wif mp3s as well as N-gage games...


nevertheless my W910i is incomparable.... looks like i hafta set aside my goal of getting N95... consider it as an early bdae treat 2 mths early :)

dis is definitely da strangest title i've ever put up before...

i was actually supposed to watch Beowulf today... so i went online dis afternoon n book tix under Cathay... da funny thing was it stated dat da movie was showing @ 4.10pm today n da price per tix was $14!!! der were many seats available too....so i quickly booked but my payment cudnt be processed thru! i tried again... i tried using both mastercard n visa... n i cudnt get thru... frustrated... i rushed down to buy da tix @ causeway...

i got another shock wen i arrived @ da cathay counter... da movie is only showing tmr!!! was my eyes playing tricks on me wen i was surfing for da movie online??? i cudnt believe it... in record time for myself i actually took 15 mins to get dressed n rush all da way to find myself getting cheated by da movie time... so as u can see from da pix my tudung isnt perfect today

so for da efforts, we caught Stardust instead... lucky it was a nice movie or else it definitely be a wasted evening... so im back wif all smiles... causeway point's looking all xmassy wif all da lights n a big xmas tree... i was impressed dat we nw haf breeks n a newly renovated seoul garden (or shud i say newly shrunk??)... so happy wif more eating places @ causeway... getting sick of juz having swensen's n pizza hut...im definitely gonna try dem out sum time later dis mth!!!

gonna turn in early as im gonna work tmr!!!

Syukur alhamdulillah...

dats wat im feeling rite nw... it's close to half past six n im already hme munching on my last bites of papadam... *crunch* *crunch*

for every down dat im facing, der will always be ups... right nw im juz gonna focus on da positive aspects of my life :) it's been quite a looong while since i did sum positive thinking for myself but bec ive been in such a depressing state for a few mths nw, it's time to pick myself up n smile :)

i feel soooo pampered dis wk... my sup drove me hme on mon after we attended a course @ IMH n today bec i happen to meet her @ da door, she sent me hme as well... had a nice time chatting wif her in da car n updating her on da case conference wic i had wif one of da Homes today...

thank God im done wif case conf dis mth!!! dats such a big load off my chest... n dats definitely, truly reflective of my workspace... for those who noe me well, my desk @ work reflects da state of mind im currently in... right nw it's looking tidier....n im soooo happy wif dat....

today's da 1st day i had my 1st 3 meals after such a long time... well, fasting mth n all... ppl haf been coming up to me n saying im losing weight (wic sounds not good to dem) so yeah im putting on weight happily but of coz cautiously...been checking in da mirror to see hw round my face haf become... yeah dats da vain part of me... :)

tmr's holiday!!! woo-hoo... gonna be juz R & R for me... wkend seems a bit more packed, esp sat... gonna be outdoors most of da time wic is soooo goood for me... i need a lot of sunshine in my life!!!!

so to all who's facing a lil down in ur lives, think positive... insya'allah things will turn out fine in gd time :)

Amin.

hari raya dahbis deepavali pulak lah...

juz finish helping my mom to bake kuih tat for deepavali...nooo we not celebrating.... juz sum orders my mom took.... der's a few cakes to bake as well...

da hse smell soooo nice....